Xiaxue's Blog

She is really funny, just cant stop laughing about what she writes.....

hahaha

www.xiaxue.blogspot.com

take sometime to read what she writes.... will cheer u up :)

The corporate world

Corporate world is the real world

Come on' face the fact baby!

This is what I always tell bei....

the world you are in now is the real world....

ur superior will sweet talk you if u r a good worker...

ur superior will complaint to you about the bosses....

BUT

all superior are just 2 face people by choice or without....

they are just the sandwich tier workers stuck in btw bosses and subordinates....

they will be giving you promises about pay raise and bonus...

when they face the real boss they will be giving the head start how to cut cost and lower your salary....

HAHAHA....

Welcome to the real world baby!

Being in the corporate world for my pass 10years (wah, shit i am damm so old oredy!) I have seen and experience good and bad superior and bosses.... we just have to wear fake mask to work if you dont like your job or ur bosses! Hahaha...

Was chatting with someone from the management level earlier and she was talking about her subordinates using up all her annual leave and MCs... She asks " shld I get her to leave or let her stay till CNY?" is a tough answer actually.... she is old and helpless and she needs the money to maintain her family yet she is not an efficient worker.... if the company keeps her is purly for compassionate reason but then again haiz....

CONCLUSION:

HAIZ, I wish i can be a tai tai soon and stay home be a good houseFLY and good Milk mummy....

I promise to do all the housework...

iron all bei clothes....

provide XXX for bei... Hahaha...

cook for family....

milk for Lucas....

and importantly stay pretty and chio looking for ah bei....

Aunty?? Ehh... i am not sure i am or not BUT i am putting effort still to doll up myself.... so maybe not lah hor???

Melon going to be ONE

Lucas is going to be ONE in another 21 days....

Words Lucas murmured ard:

mama (mixed up mummy and mam mam means eateat)

Papa

Ah Ma (he will shout so loudly when calling Ah Ma)

bai bai (bye bye)

Lucas can really say "bai Bai" and wave his hands whenever he leaves ah ma's place... he loves going to ah ma place cos there is 3 other kids at ah ma house playing with him.... but everytime after he is back home, he will be looking so lonely and upset cos got so many toys but nobody to play with :( Haiz makes me want to hv 2nd melon just for Lucas....

Lucas is learning how to walk now but he has collected so many "Baruku" for learning to stand before he can walk... he just had a fall right in fornt of me and ah ma last night and he cried so hard and loud after he fell!

BUT something I love about it is that he will only want me to carry him after he fall..... hehehe... he knows i will sayang him and cuddle him so tightly until he stop crying...

Lucas appetite at 6mths comparing to current is so different...

@ 6mths:

whatever u give he will just swollow without complaint

he will finish 3 rice bowl of porridge

willing to wear a bib

@ Current

he will grumble and cry if he doesnt like it

will pretend to vomit to show that he dont want anymore!

he will only eat 1st bowl of porridge so fast that u cannot slow down if not he complaint

the 2nd bowl he will pretend to vomit

the 3rd bowl he will be crying and pushing everything that comes near his mouth

baby at this age is really smart....

he will cry if u put a bib ard him...

As for mummy and daddy.... before and after we are always still so tired.... how we both wish I can sleep for 1 whole day without any worries......

My 2 man in life

I miss those days with bei alone.....

for my melon we hv give up many "couple time" or even "me time"...

and i wondered.....

when will i hv another movie with bei or a holiday with bei again....

used to laugh abt people who cant do much things when they started to hv babies...

now i think i am in this situation then i realise is really hard to let go of taking care of Lucas.....

Reason or rather we cant bear to leave Lucas with "someone/anyone":

• will lucas be sick ?
• can that someone handle lucas?
• hv lucas eaten?
• can lucas sleep?
• will we bother people too much?

Was chatting with Bei the other day and we hv 2nd tots about hving 2nd little melon.... haiz, is a JOY but cant we cope physically and financially?

Maybe ask us again when Lucas is 3 years old....

I am loving my 2 man very much and so much more everyday passes by....

bei has been a great father and a great husband (minus off the nagging part)...

I hope Lucas will have sibling (no "s") but not so soon... will see if mummy and daddy can cope physically/metally/financially :)

Love you alot bei and my melon lucas

seeing u guys soon :)

Selfish? Over Protective? or this is JUST Motherhood?

MOTHERHOOD!

SORRY but I am rather pissed, upset and frastrated with friends and people around me who don't or have not experience motherhood yet.....

Why do people or I would rather say is friends whom I know for so many years dont have the basic courtesy to tell me that they are sick/unwell/recovering BUT not fully well yet!

Is really HEARTPAIN to see Lucas falling SICK

Not enough sleep or rest is common for me and bei already, we understand and know this is parenthood and giving up rest time for Lucas is neccessary and we are all willing to do so BUT pls pls pls friends just pls go far far away from us if u are sick!

Call me over protective or sensitive BUT u will never understand till u become a mother yourself!

Have U or rather maybe in the near future see your child:

1. shiver and cry until no voice when U give him a neubuliser.....
2. slim down within few days
3. use to eat 2 full bowls of porridge but now cry after half bowl
4. cant sleep well

I HATE INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE

I am tired and frastrated... sorry if I have been rude but I just cant bear to see Lucas been sick....

How to make edible paint for my melon LUCAS

Any plain flour, mix with water to liquid consistency and add beetroot juice for red, or pandan for green, and you'll get "edible paint" for baby to play.

Hvnt done that yet... but sounds fun and Lucas shld enjoy painting too....

LUCAS IS ONE sooooooon.... is great feeling that he is a big baby oredy... the love for LUCAS is just something I am not sure how to describe...

now i truly understand what is unconditional love

14 Jul 2010 at 0955hrs Goodbye Miki

I have put Miki to sleep this morning at 955am on 14 Jul 2010. Her condition became very jialat yday. I went home after work yday and saw her lying motionless on the floor, usually she will be breathing very hard and still can move her head abit and able to drink milk with my assistance but yday she cant do anything at all.... her tougue is also not functioning and keep rolling back when i try to lift her up. when i stringe feed her to milk yday her tougue keep blocking her throat. Last night I couldnt sleep well, the whole night was a tortured to keep thinking about putting Miki to sleep the next day.....

It has been a month that she has suffered and I think she has been a strong gal.... she did try her best to be well and she was able to lift her own body up 2 weeks ago and could jump alittle but the 2nd stroke strike her again and made her really paralyzed and made her right eyes so damaged and hurt. Her right eyes was so blister and it started bleeding few days back..... feeding her everyday and night was a torture to my heart seeing her getting weaker and weaker by days and weeks.... it was really painful to see her suffer this way.... i been too heartless to let Miki suffered so long..... I guess I shld let her go today.... it wasnt an easy decision and i had to face it all alone by myself....

Today is the 4th visit to Doctor Dennis Choo at Mount Plesant Hospital, I went early at 830am as I wanted Miki to be his 1st patient. Walking to the counter the lady ask what happen to Miki today? It really took me awhile to raise my voice to tell her I am putting Miki to sleep.... these words that came out of my mouth just pierce thru my heart and i wish Miki wasnt ard to hear me saying this..... i feel so heartless.... her heart was still pumping and her left eye was still looking straight at me.... it really hurt like shit to say i wan to put Miki to sleep. The worst is to fill up a silly form asking how I wanted Miki to be cremented.... i got to decide how she was cremented and sign off that i agree with the decision made. How I wish My heart could have just stop for that moment for Miki.... I cried and cried while I finish writing and signing off the form. At the room I ask for a moment spend with Miki, I pray for her and I hope she will be happy in Heaven with God.... nurse came and insert a IV tubing on Miki left hand... Dr dennis came shortly and put Miki to sleep.... i shut Miki eyes but it could be shut off.... i kiss her on her forehead and told her I am sorry and I really love her.

Miki has been a great companion.... she will sit beside u everytime u come close to her.... i miss her big round eyes and I so miss her now.... i m so upset..... sorry i hv to write here cos i really need an outlet to cry n cry out loud....

Hubby didnt want to be there for Miki.... how can man be so heartless? I ask Andy this question, if I was Miki and before I die... will u be there for me? It was painful to see pets die.... and even more scary if one day my parents or someone close to me just die like that? I wish I didnt have emotion so I will never be able to feel upset and cry so badly.

Snowball is alone at home now and I wonder if he realise what's going on and where did Miki went? Will Snowball missed Miki? I cant bring myself to go thru the same thing for Snowball again..... is a painful decision and experience that I never want it at all anymore.....

Can hardly open my eyes cos i cried too hard....

Goodbye Miki, u will be missed by mummy and snowball always... and Lucas will miss u badly too....
14 JULY 2010 at 0955hrs for Miki my beloved gal..... I hope Miki did meet Jesus and is happy in Heaven.....

God Loves U my forever dearest Miki

Long term nursing care for my little Miki

My Miki was limping (left leg) on thursday Morning and 1st thing I did was to ask Ah bei if he had beaten Miki and cause the injury......

Ah bei said: "Siao ah, I beat her for what... i will only beat ur stupid snowball....."

By night she couldnt move much but still able to eat and pee by herself.... I was so worried as she is already close to 10years old oredy....

The next morning which was a public holiday(Vesak Day), Miki was completely lying on the floor not moving and she had pee all over her.....

The only Vet which was open is only at Mount Pleasant!!!! I never like going to Mount Pleasant.... the Vet there is always very heartless! They will always recommend to put dogs to sleep and nothing else! I still remember few years back when snowball had his tail snapped off from a closing door and was bleeding very badly.... the vet at mt pleasant actually commended that snowball shld be put to sleep if his wound dun heal!!!!! He must be MAD! cos snowball is young and strong and still ALIVE now!

Had no choice but went to Mount Pleasant but was totally a different experience... Miki met gentle Dr Dennis Choi Kang (shld be a taiwanese).... he was gentle on Miki and super caring too...

DIAGNOSE: MIKI HAS A STROKE ATTACKED AND NEED LONG TERM NURSING CARE :(

28 May 2010

Day 1: She was still eating her normal solid biscuit and drinking water by herself... still able to poo and pee but refuse to wear diaper... completely no strength to stand up... I wash her up and blow dry her coat... Miki seems extermely upset with herself...

Day 2: She refuse to bite any of the biscuit and only wants stringe feed with water... soften her biscuit and hand feed her.... still able to poo and pee but refuse to wear diaper... by night fall she was able to lift her own body up but couldnt stand longer than 1 min....

Day 3: Miki refuse soften biscuit and I could only feed her milk.... honey and water.... Miki again pee on her own body again... I went closer to her and gave her a pat and told her is ok and she will recover soon...

Day 4: (Is a Monday, I had to go to work....) woke up super early today just to feed Miki Medicine and milk just before leaving for work... and hopefully her diaper wont fall off again before I am back.... by 7pm she shld be so so hungry...

hope that Miki will recover SOON......

Lucas on Solid - Meat

Yes, my melon started his 1st meal (FISH) yesterday at Ah ma's house! Ah Ma prepare "gor hee" fish porriage for Lucas....
At first I was... Huh? He is only 6mths plus leh... why start fish so soon? But anyhow, Lucas started eating and he really loves fish... he glup down the whole bowl of fish porriage!

Andy's mum like to feed Lucas with things I dun think he shld start so soon.... I feel that is difficult communicating to Andy mum things I dun want Lucas to eat or drink or do....

Classic example:

• when I use to breastfeed Lucas she will tell me is ok to feed FM and also give lotsa water.... I can never convince Ah ma that with breastmilk no water is needed! Haiz.....

haiz... yet still with a thankful heart

My Little Melon is growing!

Days went by so so fast..... I was pregnant! Seems like this was only yday that Lucas was still inside me! Lucas is already 6 months and 9days old!

During Lucas's baby shower (Huijun my fren was carrying him)

This was 7 weeks at Dr Lim clinic, mummy needs to remove her stitch.... and I was so scared! Ask me again during that period I wont want a 2nd pregnancy! C-section was way too much suffering for me to bear!

This was Lucas's 9weeks and mummy me had a hard time handling Lucas by herself surviving on the 2nd week(aunty heng, my best confinement aunty went home)...

Question that went thru my mind:

1) y do babies cry so much?

2)Lucas can u tell mummy what u want and stop crying?

3) Why are u awake again? I tot u just had ur milk awhile ago?

4) Why do I have to suffer so much?

5) is breastfeeding so impt? (feel so abuse and used)

6) Why cant u suckle properly Lucas?

7) I need to sleep, can u pls just fall asleep soon?

8) pls grow up fast!

9) extremely frustrated with small little things....

10) my wrist is still in pain ever since Lucas is born! (and I wonder why)

Above all.... I am so blessed with a SUPER DUPER GREAT HUBBY "Ah Bei"

1) Daddy never failed (hmm... not true, once in awhile too tired)to wake up to feed U at night...

2) daddy love to wash up Lucas

3) daddy teach me how to clean up ur titi... (cos i dun hv those dangling balls... whahaha)

4) daddy knows how to change diaper very well

5) daddy can make Lucas sleep at night (better than mummy i must say)

6) daddy can bottle feed Lucas better than mummy too!!!! (even till now)....

7) daddy can really "tahan" mummy's sudden change of temper! (I remember I kept crying becos I am extremely stressed up and tired and my milk supply was super LOW...)

Lucas @ week 10... he smiles more often and has his little temper.... trying to flip but not successful....

We just started to understand and enjoy having Lucas ard.... now we fully understand... what is Parenthood is!!!!!

Lucas @ week 11 (was few days before CNY)...

Haha... bei says: Heng ah, we have Lucas to collect back some Angbao... not like last year give n give no returns.... Hahaha...

Mummy says: Lucas smile more okie, then people will give u more angbao... hahaha

Lucas @ 12weeks.... bought a CNY romper for Lucas at last minute shopping on the eve... guess Lucas can wear this for this year only....

Mummy is going back work right after CNY and have to put u to Aunty Nanny soon....

*Boo hoo hoo*, mummy cried so badly on the 1st day when u are at nanny's place!

And mummy started working and didnt hv much chance to take picture of Lucas growing up.... at times I wish I was a SAHM....

Lucas got himself another Godpapa, Godmama and Godgrandmama and papa... that's Quekpa, Quekma and Ah quek's mum love Lucas so much....

Quek Papa says: Must get lucas a hat.... this hat was Shernise hat and we borrowed it from her for 1 day while mummy went out to look for a more manly hat....

Quekpapa offer to look after U on one Sat evening so that mummy and daddy can
go partok and watch one movie! It was a good break but we miss Lucas so much.... wonder how many sms i have sent Quek n pea.... very nice of them :)

Quek's mum even cut hair for lucas and bath him before we pick him back :)

Mummy says: Lucas, when u grow up must remember Quekpapa, mama and Quek Ah Ma ya :)

Till date, I enjoy motherhood and I am so so in love with Lucas and of cos My Ah Bei!