I have put Miki to sleep this morning at 955am on 14 Jul 2010. Her condition became very jialat yday. I went home after work yday and saw her lying motionless on the floor, usually she will be breathing very hard and still can move her head abit and able to drink milk with my assistance but yday she cant do anything at all.... her tougue is also not functioning and keep rolling back when i try to lift her up. when i stringe feed her to milk yday her tougue keep blocking her throat. Last night I couldnt sleep well, the whole night was a tortured to keep thinking about putting Miki to sleep the next day.....
It has been a month that she has suffered and I think she has been a strong gal.... she did try her best to be well and she was able to lift her own body up 2 weeks ago and could jump alittle but the 2nd stroke strike her again and made her really paralyzed and made her right eyes so damaged and hurt. Her right eyes was so blister and it started bleeding few days back..... feeding her everyday and night was a torture to my heart seeing her getting weaker and weaker by days and weeks.... it was really painful to see her suffer this way.... i been too heartless to let Miki suffered so long..... I guess I shld let her go today.... it wasnt an easy decision and i had to face it all alone by myself....
Today is the 4th visit to Doctor Dennis Choo at Mount Plesant Hospital, I went early at 830am as I wanted Miki to be his 1st patient. Walking to the counter the lady ask what happen to Miki today? It really took me awhile to raise my voice to tell her I am putting Miki to sleep.... these words that came out of my mouth just pierce thru my heart and i wish Miki wasnt ard to hear me saying this..... i feel so heartless.... her heart was still pumping and her left eye was still looking straight at me.... it really hurt like shit to say i wan to put Miki to sleep. The worst is to fill up a silly form asking how I wanted Miki to be cremented.... i got to decide how she was cremented and sign off that i agree with the decision made. How I wish My heart could have just stop for that moment for Miki.... I cried and cried while I finish writing and signing off the form. At the room I ask for a moment spend with Miki, I pray for her and I hope she will be happy in Heaven with God.... nurse came and insert a IV tubing on Miki left hand... Dr dennis came shortly and put Miki to sleep.... i shut Miki eyes but it could be shut off.... i kiss her on her forehead and told her I am sorry and I really love her.
Miki has been a great companion.... she will sit beside u everytime u come close to her.... i miss her big round eyes and I so miss her now.... i m so upset..... sorry i hv to write here cos i really need an outlet to cry n cry out loud....
Hubby didnt want to be there for Miki.... how can man be so heartless? I ask Andy this question, if I was Miki and before I die... will u be there for me? It was painful to see pets die.... and even more scary if one day my parents or someone close to me just die like that? I wish I didnt have emotion so I will never be able to feel upset and cry so badly.
Snowball is alone at home now and I wonder if he realise what's going on and where did Miki went? Will Snowball missed Miki? I cant bring myself to go thru the same thing for Snowball again..... is a painful decision and experience that I never want it at all anymore.....
Can hardly open my eyes cos i cried too hard....
Goodbye Miki, u will be missed by mummy and snowball always... and Lucas will miss u badly too....
14 JULY 2010 at 0955hrs for Miki my beloved gal..... I hope Miki did meet Jesus and is happy in Heaven.....
It has been a month that she has suffered and I think she has been a strong gal.... she did try her best to be well and she was able to lift her own body up 2 weeks ago and could jump alittle but the 2nd stroke strike her again and made her really paralyzed and made her right eyes so damaged and hurt. Her right eyes was so blister and it started bleeding few days back..... feeding her everyday and night was a torture to my heart seeing her getting weaker and weaker by days and weeks.... it was really painful to see her suffer this way.... i been too heartless to let Miki suffered so long..... I guess I shld let her go today.... it wasnt an easy decision and i had to face it all alone by myself....Today is the 4th visit to Doctor Dennis Choo at Mount Plesant Hospital, I went early at 830am as I wanted Miki to be his 1st patient. Walking to the counter the lady ask what happen to Miki today? It really took me awhile to raise my voice to tell her I am putting Miki to sleep.... these words that came out of my mouth just pierce thru my heart and i wish Miki wasnt ard to hear me saying this..... i feel so heartless.... her heart was still pumping and her left eye was still looking straight at me.... it really hurt like shit to say i wan to put Miki to sleep. The worst is to fill up a silly form asking how I wanted Miki to be cremented.... i got to decide how she was cremented and sign off that i agree with the decision made. How I wish My heart could have just stop for that moment for Miki.... I cried and cried while I finish writing and signing off the form. At the room I ask for a moment spend with Miki, I pray for her and I hope she will be happy in Heaven with God.... nurse came and insert a IV tubing on Miki left hand... Dr dennis came shortly and put Miki to sleep.... i shut Miki eyes but it could be shut off.... i kiss her on her forehead and told her I am sorry and I really love her.
Miki has been a great companion.... she will sit beside u everytime u come close to her.... i miss her big round eyes and I so miss her now.... i m so upset..... sorry i hv to write here cos i really need an outlet to cry n cry out loud....
Hubby didnt want to be there for Miki.... how can man be so heartless? I ask Andy this question, if I was Miki and before I die... will u be there for me? It was painful to see pets die.... and even more scary if one day my parents or someone close to me just die like that? I wish I didnt have emotion so I will never be able to feel upset and cry so badly.
Snowball is alone at home now and I wonder if he realise what's going on and where did Miki went? Will Snowball missed Miki? I cant bring myself to go thru the same thing for Snowball again..... is a painful decision and experience that I never want it at all anymore.....
Can hardly open my eyes cos i cried too hard....
Goodbye Miki, u will be missed by mummy and snowball always... and Lucas will miss u badly too....14 JULY 2010 at 0955hrs for Miki my beloved gal..... I hope Miki did meet Jesus and is happy in Heaven.....
God Loves U my forever dearest Miki
